r.i.p. mr. buckley

I recently came upon this old Zen saying:

Sit quietly,
doing nothing,
spring comes,
and the grass grows by itself.

It sounds really nice, like you can just spend the day in a hammock watching life unfold around you because it's going to happen anyway. Sounds nice, yes, but having been sick this past week, I am reminded of just what the results of my doing nothing can be. You see, even though the grass continued to grow without me, so did the mess in my house, and when I sit quietly and do nothing, usually nothing is exactly what gets done. This is not a complaint, I expect that my life should require effort on my part, and it makes me feel like what I do matters somehow.

I think that this saying has it's time and place, but the people that I admire most, those that have made a difference, none of them sat quietly and did nothing. Yesterday William F. Buckley Jr. died, and whether or not you agree with the things that he had to say, he accomplished a great deal. He was incredibly prolific, having written about 4 dozen books, hosted "Firing Line" for many years, and had a regular newspaper column, and that is just a fraction of the things he did. I was looking on Wikipedia yesterday at just the size of the list of his accomplishments, and it occured to me that I have something in common with this man, and it's not just politics, it is that he had the same number of hours in his days.

I don't want to be like Buckley, even though I like to write, I don't really want to be a writer, although Buckley was one of the reasons that I used to think that I did. I just believe that good things come through doing, not waiting, and he was a doer. I don't want to be the kind of person that says, "I couldn't because...(insert excuse here)." I would rather have a go at it.

I don't need to make an impact on the whole world, just my corner of it, little by little. Sitting and doing nothing gets you just that.

"Act like you expect to get into the end zone."
-Joe Paterno

(Hey Mike-check it out, I quoted Paterno)

tim

Meet Tim. Tim is Billy's best friend. He was a gift from my cousin Monique for his first birthday, and they have been buddies ever since. In this picture he is dressed as Darth Vader, and he and Billy just had a fight with light sabers, though I am informed by my son that being Darth Vader, his light saber should have been red.

The other day, Billy put his shoes on Tim, as well as a shirt and ball cap, and played baseball with him. He would throw the ball to the dog, and then say things like, "Good job buddy, you almost had that one!" He was very encouraging, and I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. Needless to say I love Tim, although I would love him more if I was allowed to throw him in the washing machine once in a while, but I am told that Tim never takes a bath.

Tim is just another, in a line of stuffed animals that have brought much joy to our family. We have night time bear, which is Emma's bear that my friend Pam brought for her when she was visiting from Egypt, it is the ugliest thing that I have ever seen, but to this day Emma can't sleep without it. We also have Barky the dog, which Katie found on the floor of TJ Max when she was 18 months old, and I'm not even sure it was for sale, but they gave him to me for 4 bucks, and he is still around today, although sewn back together several times.

Jack doesn't have one, he has lots of stuffed objects that he sleeps with from time to time, but not any particular one that he considers special. I like to think it is because he is so secure that he doesn't need one, but that doesn't bode well for the other three kids.

So this is my little tribute to furrry friends that don't require feeding, or cleaning up after.

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival."
- C. S. Lewis

birthday boy

Happy Birthday Jackson! love, Mommy

So, we had Jack's birthday party on Sunday, I still can't believe he's six already,I better be careful not to blink or I'll miss it all.

The party was fun, worth all of the work that goes into it, and I even managed to have the house cleaned up before I went to bed at the end of it. Still shining my sink.

That night was brutal though, Jack and Katie both got sick, and I had a steady rotation of kids in my bed throughout the night, which is not conducive to a good nights sleep. Jack does get the kid of the year award though, because he managed to not throw up on me in bed, and although had he, I would not have been upset with him, I am no less appreciative that he managed to hold his own(so to speak) until he got to the bathroom.

Mike, Katie and Jack all stayed home sick, and managed to destroy my clean house in a way that 40 people the previous day couldn't accomplish. I am actually writing this to prolong the misery of having to clean up the wreckage of their past, but I guess I better get to it.

i hate science

I usually am the one who does all of the school projects with the kids, from building missions, posterboard state maps, family tree cereal boxes, etc. Whatever the school throws at us, I hate it, but I do it anyway. I don't like that my kids get so many projects that I am expected to participate in, I already went to elementary school, and frankly I have other things that I need to get done.

Science fair was supposed to be Mike's turn. I took a stand and said I wasn't going to have anything to do with it(yeah right), but at the time I meant it. It took a while to come up with an experiment that the teacher would approve of, long gone are the days of building volcanos, they have decided to do with any chance that you might learn to enjoy science.

Mike's experiment was complicated, I say Mike's because I don't think Emma even knows exactly what it is yet, although it was turned in today, he was still explaining it to her late last night.

The thing is that I should have stayed out of it, as I had been so determined to do, but I didn't, I caved big. It started when they needed 6 little greenhouses for the project, so okay, I built the greenhouses. They were falling behind time wise, and something had to be done, right?

I kept telling Mike that I would not be spending an entire day working on this because they waited until the last minute to get it done, but that is exactly what happened. I spent about 10 hours yesterday working on it because it was due today, and now I am mad at myself. The worst part is that he knew that if he waited I would do it, it's why he waited, so today I am feeling a little taken advantage of, but I am madder at myself for letting it happen. I should have just left, let her not do well, and make him take some responsibility, because I know as well as anybody that nothing that happens in the 5th grade goes on your 'permanent record'.

I guess I'll have to try and make my stand next year, and there is a bonus, because right now he owes me big and he knows it.

black dog

This post is dedicated to all of you Zeppelinians, Zeppelinistas, Zeppelinites.

I seem to have caught a great deal of grief over my comments about Led Zeppelin being soft rock. You see, XM radio has implemented a channel dedicated to Led Zeppelin, 24 hours a day, all Zeppelin, all the time. Any time throughout the day you can think, wow I could use me some D'yer Mak'er, or Stairway to Heaven right now, all you have to do is turn it on, there it is.

Now, when Mike told me about this station, I thought he was joking because everytime we turned the radio on there was a Zeppelin song playing, but, no it is an actual station. Everytime I pull the headphones out of his radio so that I can listen to something, that is what is on, because he likes to listen to it to drift off to sleep. This is when I made the comment, "I can undertsand your wanting to listen to a little soft rock to get to sleep." He proceeded to act like I had just hit him below the belt, and apparently he isn't the only man that's 'sensitive' about his Zeppelin.

I am not trying to put your little band down, I actually love Led Zeppelin, but it is something that I put on to relax, not get things going, because it's soft, dare I say, easy listening.

I will give you that they might have been considered hard in their day, but it's been a long time since they rock and rolled, I believed they released their last album(that's right album, vinyl) in 1979. So, to all of you that seem to have a problem with my classification, you should know that the only thing you are revealing with you objections is your age.

Side note - I miss my black dog.