not all of their fingerpaintings are picasso's

Today I spent the entire day at my kids school going to various honor roll assemblies. I expect my kids to be on the honor roll. There is no reason for them not to be, they are smart and they don't put nearly enough time into their school work for me to settle for less. If they have that much free time then they better have it down. I get annoyed by these school gatherings, I don't want my kids to think that they deserve a standing ovation every time they do their job. I believe we are supposed to do certain things because they are ours to do, school being one of those things. I don't remember getting much more than a, "good job honey" when I got a good grade, although there was a point when my parents were so desperate to get a good grade out of me that they offered me $50 every 'A'.
My problem, I guess isn't so much with the accolades, but with the fact they call 3/4 of every class up to the stage between the 'A' honor roll, and 'B' honor roll, and there are always a few left in their seats because they didn't quite make it, I hate that. The thing is that C's are supposed to be the average grade, so if 75-85% of the class is getting A's and B's, then the work has gotten too easy. I love my kids and that they do well in school, but they don't earn their grades. Emma gets great grades when she isn't too lazy to do the work, and Katie can get straight A's through osmosis alone.

My nephew is a really smart kid with some big learning disabilities, he just has a hard time with everything that school has to offer. Joe works harder at school than any kid that I have ever seen, his schedule is rigid. During the summer he travelled an hour each way, five days a week to get to school to try and help overcome the problems that he has had, and maintaining a great demeanor throughout the whole time. So, with all of the time he puts into school, with the working and trying and getting frustrated, Joe would still be left in his seat. As much as I am happy for my girls good grades, it's hard to well up with pride for something they have put very little of themselves into, I am far more proud of those grades that Joe struggled for.

There is a big push for building kids self-esteem these days, but if we are the ones building it for them, whether by blowing the little things up to gigantic proportions or dumbing things down so they can't fail, is it really self-esteem. Self-esteem is built by overcoming challenges and working hard for something, failing and getting back up to try again, it can't be served up on a platter. They have to know that everything they touch is not gold, every finger painting is not a Picasso.